RPG Inspired Comedy Music

Stu is a great song writer, but a crappy graphic designer.

My good friend Stu has put his lyrical genus to use for RPGers everywhere. "Let Me Tell You About My Character" is a collection of five EPs that are all based on situations that are very familiar to every dice-rolling gamer. The songs are written in different styles, including country, rock, Indie electronica (yes, that's a thing), and dance mix. What really makes these songs stand out is the high quality of the mixes and recording. Produced in the Angry Folk Studio, "Let Me Tell You About My Character" lived up to the high sound quality and base humor that have made the Happy Jack's RPG Podcast moderately famous. The songs are $0.99 each and the hilarious lyrics alone are worth twice that. Aren't I generous?

I suggest you buy all the songs, but I have three favorites. "Plan B" is a country song about the intricate plans that RPG players create, and the many ways those plans fall apart. This is track one of the collection and touches on many different games, including Call of Cthulhu and Dungeons and Dragons.

Next on my list is "Storked It". This song is about the traumatizing experience of rolling a critical failure at the vital moment where everything depends on you. This song has GREAT gamer lyrics and mentions lots of different games like GURPS, Savage Worlds, Amber DRPG, and World of Warcraft. Everyone knows how this feels. The term "storked it" was inspired by the Happy Jack's host Stork, the worst dice roller on earth. This song also contains the word "fuck". You shrinking violets have been warned.

The finale and my absolute favorite track in the collection is track five, titled "Laser Printed Hero". This is the theme song of the Happy Jack's RPG Podcast, and this particular recording includes the powerhouse vocals of Heather Greene. They lyrics in this song are the smartest and the most entertaining in this collection. It's based on the incredible lives and adventures of our heroes, who only appear to be printed numbers and words to the unknowing of the real world.

Do yourself a favor and buy these songs. Listen to "Laser Printed Hero" before every RPG you play and you will roll all critical successes. Really...


OrcCon 2012 - Laser Ponies Game for Adults

I didn't know what to expect when I ran my adult-theme Laser Ponies convention game at OrcCon 2012. Convention games are an unpredictable beast. You never know who will show up at your table, or if they will buy the concept that you have spent endless hours prepping. This concept was especially risky with Laser Ponies, but I hoped that anyone who signed up for a twisted game of alien ponies would show up ready for anything.

My table is all set up and ready for the players!

I love having an amazing setup for my players when they arrive. I also like the players to be surprised by the characters that they get. Usually, my players have little clues when they arrive at the table, but nobody gets to see their character sheets until everyone is seated and we get started. For this game, each player had a bag waiting for them that contained their character sheet, a map, a set of My Little Pony stickers (just because they were fun!), and a customized toy version of their character. On each bag was a picture that represented the character inside, and that was their only clue.

The customized ponies were the biggest part of my prep time for this game. Lots of people were very excited because of the crazy description and because we'd been talking about the game on the Happy Jack's RPG podcast for months. EIGHT people were signed up, so I had to make a lot of ponies! They took about two weeks to complete, but I loved the challenge and the creativity involved. I sanded small toy horses that I bought at the Dollar Tree. Then painted each one with spray paint and puffy paint to make them look unique. I was thrilled that the players were so excited to get them.

  

  

 

 

I was supposed to co-GM this game with my friend Casey, however he fell ill about 10 minutes into the game intro. Things went smoothly and the players bought into the crazy concept that we had created. Basically, the home of the Laser Ponies is being overrun by a drug cartel. The only ponies who can take a stand against this threat are the P-Team. Yes, we ripped off the A-Team, but damn did it make for a funny game. Each character had weaknesses, like uncontrollable lust, war flashbacks, drug addiction, fear of flying, and more. These weaknesses have to be rolled so the players never know when they will kick in. It made for a very adult, but very funny addition to the game.The players got so into it they started rolling their weaknesses, even when I hadn't asked!

The rainbow afro that the players created. They did this completely on their own! Lesson: Always provide crayons for your players!

The game went incredibly well, and was one of the most fun games with which I have been involved. The players were what really made it magical. They were incredibly creative and energetic. The started making creative props of their own and kept acting out scenes using their toy horses. The insane plot ideas that they came up with were so unexpected, but it really made the game. Multiple times in our 4 hour game we had to stop because we were all laughing too hard to speak. I feel bad for the other Happy Jacks games that shared the room with us, but holy cow was it fun! The 4 hours flew by, and the game timed out perfectly, ending 10 minutes before the cut off time.

The one thing that I wasn't prepared for was combat. I had planned to co-GM, and Casey is a numbers guy. I had read the rules a few days before, but I couldn't recall the exact damage rules once it was obvious that Casey wasn't coming back. I was subtly trying to look up damage rules while I started the first scene. It didn't impact the game for the players (as far as I could tell!) but it made those first few moments stressful for me. Lesson: Always have the book/PDF with you (huzzah! I did that!) and always read the combat rules before the players show up if its a new system to you.

This was a REALLY amazing game. REALLY. I won't be sharing any plot points here since I may have to run this game again. I might have to retire from adult Laser Ponies forever though, because I doubt any game could live up to the original P-Team.


Laser Ponies Review - Gateway Game for Girls?

"Feel the Pony Power! On a faraway magical world, in the heart of Glitter Valley, there lives a tribe of beautiful creatures known as the Laser Ponies." - Hex Games Website

Hex games created this very simple RPG in 2009. Laser Ponies is aimed at very young players, but it is still a pen and paper RPG that requires basic math skills and reading ability. I'd suggest it for ages 7 and up. I happen to be running an X-rated convention game for adults, but that is just because I'm very broken. Using the NORMAL setting for Laser Ponies makes for a fun, family-friendly, imaginative gaming experience.

Cost – 10/5

Yes, Laser Ponies gets a 10 out of 5 for cost. How is that possible? The PDF costs $1.99... YES, ONE DOLLAR AND NINETY-NINE CENTS! You get a complete RPG game for less than a cup of coffee at the trendy, overpriced location of your choice. Your dice cost more than this whole RPG.

You can buy the PDF at DriveThru RPG and you get all the information you need to run a Laser Ponies game from the single book. The Quick Start rules are in the back of the book and give you an easy run-down of character creation and combat.

Setting – 4/5

As a female gamer, I am thrilled that this game exists. I think it's a great gateway RPG (drug) for kids, ESPECIALLY HORSE-CRAZY LITTLE GIRLS! I would have loved playing this RPG between my weekly riding lessons. I am (correctly) stereotyping girls, but I think games like this one are the way to increase the number of females gamers. Get 'em into the hobby while they're young! Boys are sure to enjoy this system too because there are monsters, bears, and friggin' laser beams!!

The premise is really simple and sweet. Very sweet. It will give any adult cavities. It's a great game for kids though and harkens back to the simpler times of Candy Land... but with lasers. The ponies live in a magical world called Panagonia. Their homes are in Glitter Valley, which is a peaceful but surrounded by scary forests and some mountains. The bears and monsters are the enemies of the ponies, while the beavers and badgers are their allies. The only human is the evil Chasm Queen who is basically the big boss the ponies need to take down.

Again, it's a game for kids. I've had a lot of fun twisting it to my dark purposes for my adult convention game, but it really is a cute setting for kids.

Note: The game even comes with tables of story ideas, so young GMs can have some helpful ideas of where to take their game. What a great idea!

Character Creation – (5/5 Customization) (4/5 Ease)

Character creation is very simple, and the Quick-start guide in the back of the Laser Ponies book can easily take you through the process. It only takes about 5 minutes to roll up a character, and even less if you are an adult. It's really simple. I do suggest that you help kids during character creation, simply to because the reading level of the directions might be a little high for the average 7-year-old... Sorry! Your kid is not average! I get it! They are the next Einstein... help them the first time through anyway.

F34R M3!

There is a high level of customization available in this game through the use of "gimmicks". You can give your pony any perks you want, magical or mundane. The book gives amazing speed, invisibility, prophetic dreams, lucky, and many other examples of good gimmicks. The higher your gimmick level, the more likely that you will succeed in your roll. However, your gimmick level is equal to your weakness level. Weaknesses have to be something that majorly impacts the character, such as bad aim, unpopular, phobias, smelly, etc. Your pony might have incredible powers, but they are no good to him/her if nobody will get within 100 yards of them because they have a habit of sleeping in their own manure. The more powerful the gimmick, the more powerful the weakness.

These gimmicks and weaknesses are approved by the GM to insure they aren't going to ruin the adventure. It's really fun coming up with ideas for these and I can picture kids having a blast during the character creation phase. Plus, you get to name and design your pony!!! Mine may or may not have been named Sugar Cube and had little Pegasus wings...

Combat – (5/5 Speed) (4/5 Ease) (5/5 Fun)

Combat is very fast and simple and reminds me of Wild Talents in many ways. It's split into rounds, but there is no specific amount of in-game time in a round. The GM makes the call if something really complicated takes multiple rounds. The GM goes around the table and each player declares their action, then the GM has everyone roll in the order that makes the most sense depending on the actions. It's a d20 system, if the player rolls less than or equal to the characters number, the action succeeds. There are exceptions and specific circumstances where the rules get a little more complicated, but not much. It's very quick and can be very fun since players get to imagine their own attacks instead of using preset attacks from a book.

PONY POWER!!

I gave Laser Ponies a 4 out of 5 for ease because kids will need some help reading and understanding the directions. It's very simple and kids will catch on very quickly. I highly suggest teaching them in-game instead of reading through the rules with them and trying to make them understand from the text alone.

From the pony's mouth...

You may think my scores are very forgiving, and you are right. No, I would not choose to play Laser Ponies over Wild Talents or other systems aimed at adults... unless I wanted to have a game night with my god-daughter Allegra. Laser Ponies is perfectly tailored to its chosen demographic. I highly encourage my fellow nerds to pick up a copy to share with their young kids. It's well worth the $1.99, even if you only play it once. It might turn your Bratz-doll-loving daughter into a tabletop gamer.

If you'd like to try the Laser Ponies system with a more adult setting, I suggest you pick up the Q.A.G.S. (Quick Ass Game System) book. It is the basic system that Laser Ponies is built around, but is much more in-depth. I bought and flipped through the QAGS book and was really amused by it's writing and illustrations, but I haven't studied it at length. It is available from DriveThru RPG for $7.99 and includes more detailed options for point-based characters and advanced player combat.


How to use dice

Laser Ponies RPG

For the next Strategicon gaming convention, my friend Casey and I decided to run a game called Laser Ponies. No, I'm not kidding. It's an actual RPG game that you can buy. It was mentioned in the first season of the Happy Jack's RPG podcast (which I often host) and has been a running joke since then. We thought it was a great idea to design and run an X-rated Laser Ponies game.

What can I say? We were very, very drunk at the time. Never promise to GM a crazy game on-air during a live podcast when you are inebriated. Trust me.

I don't want to give too much of the story away, but I did want to comment on the PDFs we bought to run this game. We bought the Laser Ponies PDF and the QAGS System PDF from Drivethru RPG. The Laser Ponies book is less than $2 right now, and you can actually run the game entirely from this book. You will also be able to enjoy the amazing artwork that comes with this book...

 
Stop laughing! I'm not kidding! It is really a system book!

The QAGS (or Quick Ass Game System) book is one of the most entertaining system books I have ever read. I know that isn't the hardest thing to do, but it is very funny at times. It starts with the very basics and moves on from there.

How to use diceActual image from the QAGS Book

The system is pretty simple and can work for any setting. I haven't play tested our game yet, so I will hold off on my review until I've run something with it. However, I will say that for under $10 you can get both of these PDFs, get drunk, and have a lot of fun coming up with insane ideas for the most warped Pony-verse ever.