Thou Shalt Not Play with Assholes
Should subjective tabletop RPG rules be eliminated since they can allow the GM's biases to influence the game?
This rather hot topic has arisen lately, especially regarding mechanics where the GM can reward players for their role-playing. This discussion was started by site called Gaming for Women and we recently discussed it on an episode of the Happy Jack's RPG podcast.
While misogynistic behavior was the main concern of the article, any time you allow the human element into activities it opens the door for prejudice. I will be the first to admit that this can lead to horrible situations in games and in gaming groups. However, I argue that this subjectivity is imperative to gaming and especially vital with reward mechanics. The human element is the reason we play tabletop games. Otherwise, we'd all just go play video games since they are available whenever we want and don't drink all the beer when they come over. I have seen reward mechanics bring quiet role-players out of their shell and bring games to a whole new level. If a numbers mechanic regulated the use of rewards, rather than the GM, the same people would always get the bennies! Only the subjective judgement of a GM can evaluate the amount of effort a player is putting into the game.
Some people (read: self-proclaimed feminists) chimed in on my twitter feed and claimed that women may need all subjective rules to be eliminated in order to insure total fairness in all gaming groups. WTF? Seriously? I cannot begin to describe how insulted I was by the idea that women need rules to protect them in RPGs. If you are in a group where you need rules to protect you from a GM's vindictive actions, get the fuck out of there! We play games FOR FUN! If you are playing with people who treat you unfairly based on your gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, beer preference, or anything else, it isn't going to be fun. Nobody should ever stay in any type of relationship (romantic, friendly, gaming, or otherwise) where the only thing protecting them from abuse is rules. Being empowered includes the power to remove yourself from a bad situation. Find another group, or start checking out online gaming options if the pickings are slim in your area.
Remember Kimi's golden rule of gaming: thou shalt not play with assholes!
RPG Inspired Comedy Music
My good friend Stu has put his lyrical genus to use for RPGers everywhere. "Let Me Tell You About My Character" is a collection of five EPs that are all based on situations that are very familiar to every dice-rolling gamer. The songs are written in different styles, including country, rock, Indie electronica (yes, that's a thing), and dance mix. What really makes these songs stand out is the high quality of the mixes and recording. Produced in the Angry Folk Studio, "Let Me Tell You About My Character" lived up to the high sound quality and base humor that have made the Happy Jack's RPG Podcast moderately famous. The songs are $0.99 each and the hilarious lyrics alone are worth twice that. Aren't I generous?
I suggest you buy all the songs, but I have three favorites. "Plan B" is a country song about the intricate plans that RPG players create, and the many ways those plans fall apart. This is track one of the collection and touches on many different games, including Call of Cthulhu and Dungeons and Dragons.
Next on my list is "Storked It". This song is about the traumatizing experience of rolling a critical failure at the vital moment where everything depends on you. This song has GREAT gamer lyrics and mentions lots of different games like GURPS, Savage Worlds, Amber DRPG, and World of Warcraft. Everyone knows how this feels. The term "storked it" was inspired by the Happy Jack's host Stork, the worst dice roller on earth. This song also contains the word "fuck". You shrinking violets have been warned.
The finale and my absolute favorite track in the collection is track five, titled "Laser Printed Hero". This is the theme song of the Happy Jack's RPG Podcast, and this particular recording includes the powerhouse vocals of Heather Greene. They lyrics in this song are the smartest and the most entertaining in this collection. It's based on the incredible lives and adventures of our heroes, who only appear to be printed numbers and words to the unknowing of the real world.
Do yourself a favor and buy these songs. Listen to "Laser Printed Hero" before every RPG you play and you will roll all critical successes. Really...
Middle School History RPG
It is a constant challenge to keep students engaged in middle school. You know the age, spring has sprung and suddenly girls no longer have cooties. In fact, they are darn attractive. Suddenly, school is the last thing on your mind when you are sitting in class. It's Mother Nature herself that I am fighting against each day when I try to keep my 7th graders interested. What weapon can a teacher use in this battle against hormones?
Dice of course! Don't tell me you are surprised...
I've designed a class RPG/Risk inspired simulation to bring Medieval Japan to life in my classroom. Each group of students is responsible for maintaining their feudal state, including the earning of food and money to upkeep their armies. They can declare war and battle against other feudal states, and face the twists and turns that fate can bring upon any civilization. Once my students figured out they could conquer and become the feudal Lords of Japan, their hormones didn't stand a chance. Score one for gaming!
It started with a map. I did research and created battle maps that showed the actual feudal boundaries in Medieval Japan. I then broke my class into 4 small groups and each group was given a feudal state. They created a "nobori" (Japanese for banner) and a symbol to represent their state. I was really impressed by their banners, and they are showing so much team spirit and loyalty to their own states.
Each state started with 3 armies, 2 food, and 1 money, which are marked on the battle map with notes and push-pins for the armies. Each day, they can earn more armies, food, and money by completing their assignments. They need to maintain a minimum level of money for their armies to continue fighting. They also must have 1 food for every 2 armies each day, or their armies start starving to death. The students can trade amongst themselves for food, money, or armies. They can also attack other feudal states, and if they win a war they get to take over the armies, food, and money of the other state. They also take all the students from the conquered group and become one larger group, so nobody gets left out if their group loses a war.
Wars are where the dice come in. For every push-pin army a group has, they get to roll 1d6. I thought this was a fair way to resolve battles. A group with 5 armies is still capable of defending themselves against a group with 7 armies, but the odds are not in their favor. They can have one battle a day, and a group must win 3 battles in order to win a war. If a group runs out of money during a war, their armies go on strike and they are left defenseless. If they run out of food, their armies will die and be pulled off the battle map. Groups that lose a war are absorbed into the victorious group and get to continue participating in this new larger group. Eventually, one feudal state may conquer all of Japan... but maybe not!
But as always, fate plays a hand in the success or failure of nations. This is represented by the Wheel of Fate in my classroom. The groups spin the wheel each day, and luck decides if something beneficial or detrimental happens. Examples:
- Extra rain falls in your feudal state. +2 food
- Bandits attack local farming villages. - 2 food
- Your Lords give you gifts for a holiday. +1 money
- You give an inspirational speech to your troops. +2 armies
- Your armies need new armor. -1 money for each army
This seems to be the biggest piece of excitement each day. The students all hold their breaths when their state spins the wheel. It is a game changing event each day. As with real life (and RPGs), a well placed famine or flood can cause real damage to an otherwise successful civilization.
So far, this has been a very successful experiment with my students. It has really increased their interest in history. It's also increased their interest in math as they figure out their chances of success for winning a war, and make long term plans to sustain their armies during their campaigns. We will see if it lures any students into the RPG hobby.
OrcCon 2012 - Laser Ponies Game for Adults
I didn't know what to expect when I ran my adult-theme Laser Ponies convention game at OrcCon 2012. Convention games are an unpredictable beast. You never know who will show up at your table, or if they will buy the concept that you have spent endless hours prepping. This concept was especially risky with Laser Ponies, but I hoped that anyone who signed up for a twisted game of alien ponies would show up ready for anything.
I love having an amazing setup for my players when they arrive. I also like the players to be surprised by the characters that they get. Usually, my players have little clues when they arrive at the table, but nobody gets to see their character sheets until everyone is seated and we get started. For this game, each player had a bag waiting for them that contained their character sheet, a map, a set of My Little Pony stickers (just because they were fun!), and a customized toy version of their character. On each bag was a picture that represented the character inside, and that was their only clue.
The customized ponies were the biggest part of my prep time for this game. Lots of people were very excited because of the crazy description and because we'd been talking about the game on the Happy Jack's RPG podcast for months. EIGHT people were signed up, so I had to make a lot of ponies! They took about two weeks to complete, but I loved the challenge and the creativity involved. I sanded small toy horses that I bought at the Dollar Tree. Then painted each one with spray paint and puffy paint to make them look unique. I was thrilled that the players were so excited to get them.
I was supposed to co-GM this game with my friend Casey, however he fell ill about 10 minutes into the game intro. Things went smoothly and the players bought into the crazy concept that we had created. Basically, the home of the Laser Ponies is being overrun by a drug cartel. The only ponies who can take a stand against this threat are the P-Team. Yes, we ripped off the A-Team, but damn did it make for a funny game. Each character had weaknesses, like uncontrollable lust, war flashbacks, drug addiction, fear of flying, and more. These weaknesses have to be rolled so the players never know when they will kick in. It made for a very adult, but very funny addition to the game.The players got so into it they started rolling their weaknesses, even when I hadn't asked!
The game went incredibly well, and was one of the most fun games with which I have been involved. The players were what really made it magical. They were incredibly creative and energetic. The started making creative props of their own and kept acting out scenes using their toy horses. The insane plot ideas that they came up with were so unexpected, but it really made the game. Multiple times in our 4 hour game we had to stop because we were all laughing too hard to speak. I feel bad for the other Happy Jacks games that shared the room with us, but holy cow was it fun! The 4 hours flew by, and the game timed out perfectly, ending 10 minutes before the cut off time.
The one thing that I wasn't prepared for was combat. I had planned to co-GM, and Casey is a numbers guy. I had read the rules a few days before, but I couldn't recall the exact damage rules once it was obvious that Casey wasn't coming back. I was subtly trying to look up damage rules while I started the first scene. It didn't impact the game for the players (as far as I could tell!) but it made those first few moments stressful for me. Lesson: Always have the book/PDF with you (huzzah! I did that!) and always read the combat rules before the players show up if its a new system to you.
This was a REALLY amazing game. REALLY. I won't be sharing any plot points here since I may have to run this game again. I might have to retire from adult Laser Ponies forever though, because I doubt any game could live up to the original P-Team.
Laser Ponies Review - Gateway Game for Girls?
"Feel the Pony Power! On a faraway magical world, in the heart of Glitter Valley, there lives a tribe of beautiful creatures known as the Laser Ponies." - Hex Games Website
Hex games created this very simple RPG in 2009. Laser Ponies is aimed at very young players, but it is still a pen and paper RPG that requires basic math skills and reading ability. I'd suggest it for ages 7 and up. I happen to be running an X-rated convention game for adults, but that is just because I'm very broken. Using the NORMAL setting for Laser Ponies makes for a fun, family-friendly, imaginative gaming experience.
Cost – 10/5
Yes, Laser Ponies gets a 10 out of 5 for cost. How is that possible? The PDF costs $1.99... YES, ONE DOLLAR AND NINETY-NINE CENTS! You get a complete RPG game for less than a cup of coffee at the trendy, overpriced location of your choice. Your dice cost more than this whole RPG.
You can buy the PDF at DriveThru RPG and you get all the information you need to run a Laser Ponies game from the single book. The Quick Start rules are in the back of the book and give you an easy run-down of character creation and combat.
Setting – 4/5
As a female gamer, I am thrilled that this game exists. I think it's a great gateway RPG (drug) for kids, ESPECIALLY HORSE-CRAZY LITTLE GIRLS! I would have loved playing this RPG between my weekly riding lessons. I am (correctly) stereotyping girls, but I think games like this one are the way to increase the number of females gamers. Get 'em into the hobby while they're young! Boys are sure to enjoy this system too because there are monsters, bears, and friggin' laser beams!!
The premise is really simple and sweet. Very sweet. It will give any adult cavities. It's a great game for kids though and harkens back to the simpler times of Candy Land... but with lasers. The ponies live in a magical world called Panagonia. Their homes are in Glitter Valley, which is a peaceful but surrounded by scary forests and some mountains. The bears and monsters are the enemies of the ponies, while the beavers and badgers are their allies. The only human is the evil Chasm Queen who is basically the big boss the ponies need to take down.
Again, it's a game for kids. I've had a lot of fun twisting it to my dark purposes for my adult convention game, but it really is a cute setting for kids.
Note: The game even comes with tables of story ideas, so young GMs can have some helpful ideas of where to take their game. What a great idea!
Character Creation – (5/5 Customization) (4/5 Ease)
Character creation is very simple, and the Quick-start guide in the back of the Laser Ponies book can easily take you through the process. It only takes about 5 minutes to roll up a character, and even less if you are an adult. It's really simple. I do suggest that you help kids during character creation, simply to because the reading level of the directions might be a little high for the average 7-year-old... Sorry! Your kid is not average! I get it! They are the next Einstein... help them the first time through anyway.
There is a high level of customization available in this game through the use of "gimmicks". You can give your pony any perks you want, magical or mundane. The book gives amazing speed, invisibility, prophetic dreams, lucky, and many other examples of good gimmicks. The higher your gimmick level, the more likely that you will succeed in your roll. However, your gimmick level is equal to your weakness level. Weaknesses have to be something that majorly impacts the character, such as bad aim, unpopular, phobias, smelly, etc. Your pony might have incredible powers, but they are no good to him/her if nobody will get within 100 yards of them because they have a habit of sleeping in their own manure. The more powerful the gimmick, the more powerful the weakness.
These gimmicks and weaknesses are approved by the GM to insure they aren't going to ruin the adventure. It's really fun coming up with ideas for these and I can picture kids having a blast during the character creation phase. Plus, you get to name and design your pony!!! Mine may or may not have been named Sugar Cube and had little Pegasus wings...
Combat – (5/5 Speed) (4/5 Ease) (5/5 Fun)
Combat is very fast and simple and reminds me of Wild Talents in many ways. It's split into rounds, but there is no specific amount of in-game time in a round. The GM makes the call if something really complicated takes multiple rounds. The GM goes around the table and each player declares their action, then the GM has everyone roll in the order that makes the most sense depending on the actions. It's a d20 system, if the player rolls less than or equal to the characters number, the action succeeds. There are exceptions and specific circumstances where the rules get a little more complicated, but not much. It's very quick and can be very fun since players get to imagine their own attacks instead of using preset attacks from a book.
I gave Laser Ponies a 4 out of 5 for ease because kids will need some help reading and understanding the directions. It's very simple and kids will catch on very quickly. I highly suggest teaching them in-game instead of reading through the rules with them and trying to make them understand from the text alone.
From the pony's mouth...
You may think my scores are very forgiving, and you are right. No, I would not choose to play Laser Ponies over Wild Talents or other systems aimed at adults... unless I wanted to have a game night with my god-daughter Allegra. Laser Ponies is perfectly tailored to its chosen demographic. I highly encourage my fellow nerds to pick up a copy to share with their young kids. It's well worth the $1.99, even if you only play it once. It might turn your Bratz-doll-loving daughter into a tabletop gamer.
If you'd like to try the Laser Ponies system with a more adult setting, I suggest you pick up the Q.A.G.S. (Quick Ass Game System) book. It is the basic system that Laser Ponies is built around, but is much more in-depth. I bought and flipped through the QAGS book and was really amused by it's writing and illustrations, but I haven't studied it at length. It is available from DriveThru RPG for $7.99 and includes more detailed options for point-based characters and advanced player combat.
Laser Ponies RPG
For the next Strategicon gaming convention, my friend Casey and I decided to run a game called Laser Ponies. No, I'm not kidding. It's an actual RPG game that you can buy. It was mentioned in the first season of the Happy Jack's RPG podcast (which I often host) and has been a running joke since then. We thought it was a great idea to design and run an X-rated Laser Ponies game.
What can I say? We were very, very drunk at the time. Never promise to GM a crazy game on-air during a live podcast when you are inebriated. Trust me.
I don't want to give too much of the story away, but I did want to comment on the PDFs we bought to run this game. We bought the Laser Ponies PDF and the QAGS System PDF from Drivethru RPG. The Laser Ponies book is less than $2 right now, and you can actually run the game entirely from this book. You will also be able to enjoy the amazing artwork that comes with this book...
Stop laughing! I'm not kidding! It is really a system book!
The QAGS (or Quick Ass Game System) book is one of the most entertaining system books I have ever read. I know that isn't the hardest thing to do, but it is very funny at times. It starts with the very basics and moves on from there.
Actual image from the QAGS Book
The system is pretty simple and can work for any setting. I haven't play tested our game yet, so I will hold off on my review until I've run something with it. However, I will say that for under $10 you can get both of these PDFs, get drunk, and have a lot of fun coming up with insane ideas for the most warped Pony-verse ever.
Wild Talents Review
A review I wrote in March of 2011 for The Douchey DM, my friend Stu's gaming rant-blog. It is also the official rant-blog of the Happy Jack's RPG podcast. I had just run my first Wild Talents game at OrcCon 2011 with my buddy Frey. I have since run the system at other cons and my Salem Witch Trials game has become the stuff of Happy Jack's legend. Enjoy.
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At OrcCon, The Amazing Fray™ (also known as Fray) and I ran a new-to-the-Happy-Jacks-crew system called Wild Talents. It is a system specifically designed as a superhero RPG. Arc Dream Publishing released it in December of 2006.
This is my n00b friendly review of that system. I’ll be breaking the game down into four basic categories and then giving an overall opinion, a format I hope to follow with all my future game system reviews. Basically, I’m going to share my opinions on new-to-me systems so people who haven’t played them can figure out if they are interested. This is not a player guide! You do not need to know how to play the game to comprehend this review. A complete explanation of how to play can be found on the Arc Dream website. I won’t bore you by rephrasing what someone has already done a great job of writing. If you are interested in the system after reading this blog post, check that out… or buy the damn game.
Cost – 5/5
This system is nice to your wallet, especially if you plan on designing your own world and adventures. Fray and I ran our game with the compact Wild Talents Essentials Edition. The Essentials Edition is all you need to create and play a Wild Talents game! It includes the very basic character creation and play mechanics. It’s a paperback, the pictures are in black and white and it’s easy to fit in your purse (because I know you were all wondering that!) The book runs around $10 and is available on multiple websites, including Amazon and Arcdream.com. The PDF of the Essentials Edition is available on RPGnow.com for $5. They even have $5 versions of this edition for the Kindle. Geektastic!
Wild Talents does have a pre-designed setting and adventures too. Information on them is not included in the Essentials Edition, so the cost goes up a bit. The full Wild Talents Second Edition costs around $50 (it’s on sale on Amazon for $32.90 right now, only 12 left!), or you can pay $30 for the PDF. There is no Kindle version. Again, this is the only book you will need to run a game. This book is hardcover and has full color artwork inside. It’s the normal size you’ve come to expect with RPG books. Second Edition is thicker than some DnD books, but not as thick as HERO. Hmm… maybe I shouldn’t compare sizes… size doesn’t matter…
Setting – 4/5
Wild Talents is a superhero game, but it’s really flexible. With some work you could use the mechanics to create any type of game, although why reinvent the wheel when there are tons of great systems out there for other genres? The feel of a Wild Talents game is easily customized by point limits. The books give lots of tips about designing the feel of the game you want. If you are the type of GM who loves to let your imagination go “wild” (haha), you will like this aspect of the system.
GMs who like to use pre-generated worlds and adventures (often known as “Guy with a Day Job” or “Dad”) will do well with this system too. There seems to be plenty to choose from for Wild Talents. The Second Edition is a follow up to the setting in Arc Dream’s other game GODLIKE, where super-powered humans started to appear during WWII. It’s a crazy place where supers come in direct conflict with one another. This Favored Land is a sourcebook that sets up the appearance of supers during the Civil War. There are other sourcebooks for Victorian London settings and modern games that include sorcerers and the occult. I have not played in any of these settings, but I love the variety. It seems like there is something for everyone. The extra sourcebooks and adventures are available at Arc Dream’s website.
Character Creation – (5/5 Customization) (3/5 Ease)
Customization: If you can dream up a super power, you can make it in Wild Talents. The books have a good bank of pre-generated powers to select from and include point costs and which dice to roll. If you want something specific that isn’t on the list there are directions for creating your own powers. Creating powers gets a little complicated. You can get any powers you want, but it takes a little work. It’s still nothing compared to systems like HERO. Stats and skills are easily customized to fit a character’s role and back-story by spending points.
Ease: Really this system needs two scores for ease. One for if you design your PC from the pre-generated power bank and another for if you get your hands dirty and create your own powers. Creating a character with the pre-gen powers is a no brainer. Pick and choose what stats/skills/powers you want until you hit the point cap the GM set. If you create your own powers you will spend more time and brainpower (and money on beer), but you might come up with something really unique and amazing. It adds complexity to character creation, so it lost a point there.
For the GMs: Wild Talents also lost a point in Ease because of how difficult it can be to keep the game balanced. It is a DEADLY system. One extra die and a PC or NPC will be very over powered. Fun system and easy to run, but play test if it’s your first time. If you are having your players create their own characters, check them before you play. It’s a system that can easily be min/maxed (and they admit that), so be sure you know what you’re in for and can plan accordingly (or nerf the hell out of them!)
Combat – (5/5 Speed) (4/5 Ease) (5/5 Fun)
I love the combat system in Wild Talents. The game uses the ORE (One-Roll Engine) mechanic and it really speeds things up. Our game had some of the fastest combat rounds I have seen, and the players were actually MORE interactive than with other game systems. First, the PCs and NPCs all declare their actions. Everyone is listening and paying attention because what other players say might change what you do. I noticed this seemed to increase the amount of teamwork the players used (without meta-gaming) because they didn’t have to wait for their turn. After that, everyone rolls their dice at the same time. The dice then determine who beat whom, succeeded, failed, etc. Rinse. Repeat. Very fast, interactive and fun for most groups.
The dice mechanics seem more complicated than they actually are. There are multiple types of dice and each drastically changes the power of a roll. I suggest everyone learn while playing a game. It seems really simple when you’re at the table. There are very specific dice and effects for different power types, so put some notes on the character sheets and have a book handy. After the first combat, everyone pretty much knows how their powers and dice work, so its smooth sailing from there. The regular dice mechanic is interesting since you are looking for matching die instead of adding them together. We will need further testing to determine if this makes it easier or harder to play while drunk. Volunteers?
Overall, Wild Talents is a great system. I think it’s especially good for convention games since it is very fast paced, and easy to learn. We got nothing but good feedback about the system from our players. I will definitely be running more Wild Talent games at future conventions and buying a TON of d10s.
PLEASE NOTE: If you create Radioactive Cheerleaders for a combat, the players will find a way to skip them EVERY TIME YOU RUN THE GAME. Not kidding. What a waste of spiky pom-poms of death…